Tis the season to be jolly...

This is just a quick note to say a very...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

As an Australian, I've always had Christmas in the intense heat of Summer, so this year, while living in the USA, I begged my husband to take me somewhere cold so we could have a white Christmas.

So today's blog entry is coming to you from Montreal, Canada, where it's freezing cold, and fabulously white!

Wherever you're enjoying this festive day, I hope you're with people you love, and enjoying every moment of it.

Ho ho ho

Katrina xoxox

Self Esteem for Women - Don't Settle for Mr 'Not Bad'

For any woman who’s ever been out there, navigating her way through the dating game (yep – that’s most of us!), it can be challenging to decipher what’s really ‘right’ and what’s not.

For a start, in the first months of any relationship, you’re both so caught up in the ‘honeymoon’ period that you are often simply blind to any flaws the relationship, or the person you’re dating, may have. Generally, over time, as the romantic haze settles into something more real, both partners will probably start to notice the more negative side of the mate they previously thought was so perfect. In a healthy relationship, these human flaws are recognized and accepted for what they are, or if they are unacceptable to either party, they may choose to part ways.

Unfortunately I’ve seen too many women who reach a point where they are so keen to settle into the domestic bliss of a relationship, that they start lowering their standards and finding ways to justify these sub-standards to themselves. “I was being too picky anyway”, “I’m not perfect either” or “I have to be more open to people’s faults”. Whilst these statements may also be true, if they are used as a means to settle for less, or justify decisions you know deep down aren’t right, then they are only causing harm, not good.

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to justify ANY decision you really want to make? For instance, you know you shouldn’t buy that gorgeous dress that costs about a month’s rent, yet you’ve fallen so much in love and you simply “have to have it”. You start telling yourself that you really don’t have any other good red glittery dresses, and that it really is an essential part of your wardrobe (I mean, what wardrobe is complete without one?!!). You tell yourself that you’ve had a really bad week, so you deserve this dress… You’re a good person, why shouldn’t you treat yourself?! Before you know it your credit card is being swiped through a machine and that dress is in a bag, walking out the door.

We’ve all come home with an impulsive item or two in our time, but a dress is one thing… doing the same with a relationship could cost you years of your life that could otherwise have been spent blissfully happy, with someone who still makes you weak at the knees, year after year.

As tempting as it can be sometimes to convince yourself that the guy you’re dating with the lousy attitude, bad temper and belching problem can be your Mr Right, don’t settle… be happy with you first, on your own and the real Mr Right won’t help but be drawn to your strong sense of self worth and independence.

The Spiral of Life

It is broadly accepted that we, as human beings, can consolidate most of our experiences in life to three areas of priority: relationships, finance/career and health. Too often we’re told to find ‘balance’ between the three, but it just doesn’t work that way. Usually when one of these areas is going great guns, another area is lagging a little. This is perfectly normal and healthy and part of life’s perfect cycle. At different times during our life we focus on one of these three areas more than the other two. The trick is to not tip the scales so far that you do damage to one area while you’re madly improving the other e.g. throwing everything you have into work and leaving your loved ones wondering what you look like, or bending over backward for everyone in your life to the detriment of your health (yes moms this one is aimed at you).

Life is like an upward spiralling coil, the idea is to continue improving each area of our life so that the ‘bad’ times of each new phase are still better than the ‘good times’ of the phase before. Sometimes we drive forward madly and then it’s time for quietness, integration and just ‘being’. Learn to understand this process and work with it and you’ll begin to be much kinder to yourself. Which area are you focusing on right now and are you happy with how you’re maintaining the other two?

By Sabrina Holmes