The Woman in the Mirror

New Year, New Start, New Adventures!

2010-01-05T09:53:00.004+08:00

Happy New Year!

Not only is this the beginning of a new year, but the beginning of a new decade and a new generation is being born - "Generation Alpha". That's a lot of new beginnings and it all kicked off with a blue moon just to make it interesting!

So with hope in our hearts and the sparkly optimism that usually comes with a fresh start, the question is what are you hoping to achieve in 2010? More importantly, what will you do to ensure that you stick to it, when the year wears on and your enthusiasm wanes?

Here are some tips to help you stick to the goals you've set for yourself this year:

- Write them down! The power of the written word is phenomenal and so simple to do. Either commit yourself to writing them down regularly; either every day or once a week, or print them out nicely once and put them somewhere you'll read them regularly. I like to laminate mine and put them in the shower, when I'm relaxed and happy so I can be reminded constantly of where I'm headed and stay on track.

- Write them in past tense, as if you've already achieved them, ie; "it's Christmas 2010 and I'm celebrating with my family the success of the X business I've launched this year that has turned over X profit".

- Be specific. Don't write vague goals like "I made lots of money this year", get detailed. "I made X dollars profit over all for X business" is much more powerful and real for your mind to get a grip on.

- Put some feeling into it. Describe how you feel at achieving this goal, put some descriptors into it to set the whole scene, ie: "It's Christmas 2010 and my wife and I are feeling on top of the world having just cracked a bottle of 96 Bollinger to celebrate the X profit I've made on X business. I'm so proud of my achievement and love this feeling of providing for my family".

- At the end of the year, make a bit of a ceremony out of acknowledging what you have achieved before setting out your goals for the next year. There's no point having a goal list if you don't feel the reward of achievement!

- Make your goals achievable. Have some big, lofty ones on there too, but make sure you include some smaller goals because having a win will keep you moving forward toward the bigger goals too. Nothing more disheartening than feeling a million miles from anything on your goal list - it's always nice to see some lines through the goals you've achieved and will be a huge motivator for you.

So happy goal setting and here's to a bright, successful, adventurous, exciting and fun filled 2010.

Bring on the Sunshine

2009-10-25T12:01:00.004+08:00

Well, for those of us on the bottom half of the planet, we're finally emerging out of a cold, wet, miserable winter into the perfect, cloudless days of Summer. This is such a powerful time on the psyche and a really interesting view into how much impact a little sunshine has on how we feel.

Only when we've been trapped inside, due to the cold and wet, do we really notice the change when the sun finally comes out... how does it feel? Take a moment to consult your emotions and see the sharp contrast. Energy levels increase, we become more optimistic, we are more fun to be around, we love going outside, we open ourselves up, we open our doors and windows to let the light and fresh air stream in... we become so uplifted!

Wouldn't it be nice if we could take the lesson from this and create this kind of amazing, positive reaction intentionally - regardless of whether the sun has just come out? We have the power to do it. Just something to think about...

Life of the Party

2009-09-26T10:08:00.011+08:00

Here's an article with a fun edge about being the life of the party that I thought I'd share with you all this week... enjoy

“Being the Life of the Party and How to Become More Likeable”

Being the life of the party is not about behaving like Leona Hellmsley, who thought that she was the life and soul of every party, but ended at Sing Sing having a party in solitary.

Self-esteem is not the in-your-face kind but it is quietly the confident way in which you stride into a room and the way you address others. You are so confident about yourself that you do not need to impose your views on others and they will be drinking in what you have to say.

There is this “socializing coach” from Bernardston, Massachusetts who says that being the life of the party is not about hogging the spotlight but about “engaging others.” This gentleman goes on to say that being the life of the party can be a lonely life “because you have to be willing to do extreme stunts to create memorable moments revelers will recant to their children and their children’s children.” You remember Coco the clown or the old Charlie Chaplin movies; you still recall their antics to your children and your grandchildren. That is the way you will go down in history! I rest my case.

Let’s get down to the brass-tacks. These are some of things which you should not do ever.

Do not go dressed like Batman or Catwoman. Wear well-tailored clothes that fit you like a second skin and you are hardly conscious of wearing them.
Do not walk into the room blowing a didgeridoo. You will look like the most priceless ass.
Do not walk up to people and look them in the eye unless you want a poke in the eye.
Do not circulate, making compliments to every guest. You will be spotted for a phony right away.
Do not talk about the current situation of health care or about Iraq to show off your knowledge. It’s passé.
Do not flirt outrageously. Flirting is an art and unless you are good at it, lay off.
Do not talk about your investments or your adventures on the NYSE.
Do not attempt to introduce people to one another. One small mistake of introducing a woman to her husband could end up with an egg on your face.

This is what you do to be the life of the party.

Be confident about yourself. Remember the Talmud injunction? It says that no one can make you feel small unless you allow them to do so.
Cast that 1000 watt smile of yours and it should come well from within you. People can spot a false smile a mile away.
The key is lies in being interested and be interesting. This is what Katherine Hepburn once told Christopher Reeves,” Be interesting, Christopher.”
Finally like the poet Browning once said, “Best be yourself” and you will be far more interesting that way. Simple isn’t it?

Traits Super-Confident People Have and How You Can Acquire Them

2009-09-20T11:57:00.004+08:00

"The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others."
- Dr Sonya Friedman

Yoda, the character from Star Wars, whose reptilian smugness we have been encouraged to mistake for wisdom, is one character who oozes self-confidence and is no great shakes in the looks department. But, Yoda’s self confidence comes through his self esteem, that he is far superior to the earthlings.

Who doesn’t know Katherine Hepburn? She had oodles of self confidence. Or you name, Lauren Bacall…this lady too had it. You know, Katherine Hepburn was not an extraordinary woman to look at. But by jove, she had It. She would walk into a room and every man there would make a beeline towards her. Whether you count on Jeff Bezos, or Richard Branson…they were all just ordinary like me and you, but made the difference through their level of super confidence.

Take my word for it…Self confidence comes from self-esteem. If you think badly about yourself, it is going to come true in the way you carry yourself, the way you talk, the way you dress and the way you react to others around you. A Dior or a Versace will do nothing for you unless you are self-confident and are able to carry it off by forgetting that you are wearing them.
What is so special about super-confident people?

Believe in Yourself
Believe in your own abilities, your own strengths and weaknesses, and never be burdened by doubts.

Do Not Force Your Idea
Never force your idea or views on others for you must be so sure that others will give you a fair hearing and cone around to your way of thinking.

Take Your Stand Yourself
Do not ever seek the approval of others or sit there like a Lab, with a dumb chum look, tail-a wagging, or waiting for a doggy treat.

Don’t Be Egoistic
Do not behave like Ted Turner at all! The bloke is alleged to have said, “If I only had a little humility, I’d be perfect.”

Never Demand, but Earn Respect
A person with self-confidence does not demand his or her rights; but expect them as a matter of course. Why? Have you not seen at one of those swanky restaurants, the maître, the sommelier and the steward literally at the beck and call of a particular diner? It isn’t money talking but the bearing, the total self-esteem and Oomph (if the diner is a woman).

Smile Puts You Ahead of All
Have the hint of a smile that touches your eyes. Do not smile like Count Vlad of Drakul salivating over his midnight snack, nor do you smile like Larry Ellison. Now you get the picture, don’t you?

Never Boast of Yourself
Don’t blow your own trumpet for no one is interested in it. Lion never proclaims itself as a King of the Jungle, yet everyone knows it.

Feel Good about Yourself… But Being Self-Conscious Never Works
Be confident of the way you look. Self esteem comes from being very comfortable of the way you are as long as you are not like the guy who found himself so handsome that he took a self-portrait with a Polaroid every night before bed to preserve the moment.

Understand Your Purpose of Being
Remember, you are here for a purpose and it is up to you to discover what you mission is and start working towards achieving it.

You are Indeed Special!
Everyone is special in this world and you must be sure of your worth. That’s the secret of Super-Confident people. Brace yourself for you are indeed special!

What Do You See When You Look in the Mirror?

2009-09-06T09:36:00.005+08:00

When you look in the mirror, is it a good experience or bad? This simple test provides a giant clue as to whether your body image is positive or negative.

If you look in the mirror and see all the elements of your body that 'aren't good enough' then you need to work on seeing your body, in all it's individual glory, through a different set of eyes.

Every woman - every person - is unique and individual, complete with quirks and imperfections, but the trick is to see the whole package and appreciate it for what it is.

You are an amazing person, whether you're big, small, short, tall, curvacious, slender, black, white, blonde, brunette, blue eyed, hazel eyed, big breasted, small breasted or any other characteristic that may set you apart.... You're YOU and that's what makes you fabulous, without any need for perfection in any area.

Humans, and women especially, tend to be so much harder on ourselves than we would be with anyone else. Consider if you met someone else who had your body and imagine how you would reassure them if they asked if you thought anything was wrong with the way they looked?

One of the most impressionable sayings I ever read was one that said "treat every person you meet as if they are wearing a flashing sign on their head saying 'MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL'". I suggest you take this beautiful piece of advice one step further and imagine yourself wearing the same sign when you look in the mirror... you deserve it just as much as anyone else.

Self Esteem Quotes

2009-08-30T14:31:00.003+08:00

This week I wanted to remind everyone how important self esteem is and to share with you some of my favourite quotes as a reminder...

“To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.”

“Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.”

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”

“Instead of thinking about what you're missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.”

"Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly."

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."

Enjoy!

And then there were three

2009-08-24T10:35:00.004+08:00

It was not long after my previous blog entry back in April (I know - I'm a slacker) that I took that little test that showed two lines instead of one saying... YOU'RE PREGNANT! Of course, I didn't believe the first one, or the second or third tests, but by the sixth positive test I was starting to believe it!

Fast track to now, I'm almost 5 months along and looking a little rounder out front than before and the journey has become really exciting. The first trimester was all about risk, nausea, keeping it a secret... nothing pleasant, but now it's getting interesting. It took me until 20 weeks to finally look pregnant, and now not only do I have my bump (which I'm very proud of) but I can feel our baby kicking, and so can my husband now.

We've found out we're having a girl and we couldn't be more thrilled... life is full of twists and turns and this is one adventure we're more than a little nervous about, but ready to embrace. We've read the books, done the classes, watched the DVD's, gotten advice from friends and family but we're smart enough to know that nothing can really prepare us for what's ahead. So we're just going to buckle up and enjoy the ride!

Long Time Between Drinks

2009-04-20T10:00:00.004+08:00

I do confess I got busy with life and my poor old blog was left behind, neglected and abandoned... yet here it is, still lovingly waiting for me like a reprimanded puppy; not entirely sure how to take me after our last interaction, but excited to see me nonetheless.

So it's not technically a new year, now that we're in April, but after such a gap in connecting, I can't help but feel as though writing about new beginnings is appropriate.

Since my last blog, I've moved countries, moved cities, changed careers, watched all my friends start families and found myself grateful for the 'rocks' in my life. In an ever changing world, and with the adventures that lead us across the globe, around the bend sometimes, and under the weather at others, it's nice to have some key things in our lives that keep us grounded.

In my case it's my husband; he's strong, stable and rational, which is a wonderful balance to my sometimes eccentric, occasionally emotional and always adventurous feminine way of living, (which I wouldn't trade for anything in the world incidentally). He keeps me grounded when I'm off on another tangent with some big idea on how to change the world or start a new business... he reminds me to stay calm, think things through and make well educated decisions rather than excitedly just launching into a new project that may come back to bite me later.

My other rock is my family who, in true form, are a little eccentric and dramatic themselves, but always there - no matter what change is happening, with myself or my sisters, they are always available to lend an ear, lend a hand or simply share the journey.

So no matter what new beginnings your life brings, be it good, challenging or just different, remember to be grateful for your 'rocks'... you know the ones; they are always there, strong, steady, loyal and reliable - so familiar even, you may not have acknowledged how important they are. Let this be your reminder to tell them what they mean to you.

Creating Happiness

2008-06-21T08:44:00.006+08:00

Have you ever found yourself wondering when you became so miserable? It seemed to have crept in slowly, bit by bit somewhere along the way and now you’re in a rut and not really sure how you got there? Whilst it’s easy to think you’re so far away from feeling good again, it really only needs to take a few small changes, and an internal decision, to get yourself feeling on top of the world again!

One of the first suggestions I have for creating happiness, is to create some space. Now by that I don’t necessarily mean physically, although clearing out the clutter in your home is a GREAT way to start feeling good again. ‘Stuff’ has the tendency to weigh us down energetically and it will be very freeing to clear out anything you don’t need anymore – you’ll feel so much lighter for doing it.

What I really mean by making space however, isn’t specific to any area of your life, it’s wherever you most need it. The first place I would start is to make some space in your schedule for you. Take at least 20 minutes each day, even if it means waking up a little earlier, to start your day honouring yourself. Whether you use that time to write in a journal, listen to your favourite music, go for a walk in the fresh air, meditate or just enjoy some quiet time, savour it as your special gift to yourself.

Another way to create space is in your friendships. Who are you spending the most time with and what impact are they having on your life? If you find yourself being negative, consider if the people around you are feeding that negativity… if so, you may want to consider whether spending this much time with them is healthy? Alternatively, maybe it’s something you could discuss with them and agree to start pulling each other up and being more positive. You’d be surprised how much easier it is to make these changes if you’re both aware and looking out for each other.

Finally, I would say that the most powerful way to make yourself happy is to DECIDE to be happy. I know that sounds easier said than done, but we have so much more power than we choose to believe we have and at the end of the day it’s only us who decides how we will feel. Don’t let life choose your moods for you – how you choose to react to any situation is entirely within your control. Empower yourself with the knowledge that it’s up to you ALWAYS to decide what mood you’re in.

So be the guardian of your thoughts and CHOOSE HAPPINESS. It’s a habit like any other.

In Need of Psychological Plumbing - I'm Blocked!

2008-02-07T05:44:00.000+09:00

By Sabrina Holmes

How often do you feel like you’re doing everything you can in a particular area of your life and yet you don’t seem to have any ‘wins’? You feel like knocking your head against a wall don’t you? I know I do! Even if you’re the kind of person who is committed to constant personal growth and change, those days come. Sometimes I feel like I know so much about something there can’t possibly be a reason for not achieving exactly what I want... and yet I don’t... it’s inconceivable! I’ve found myself yelling, crying, punching, getting depressed and watching TV and sometimes even lashing out at the spiritual world because of the senselessness of it all!

What’s the block? What causes the flow of energy to literally block up? Well... let me see if I can shed some light. I’m a big believer in alignment within oneself. I believe that a part of our journey here is to find that sense of peace that comes with aligning the body, mind and soul and it’s an ongoing journey that doesn’t seem to have it’s destination in one singular lifetime. Sometimes our blockages are unconscious which puts us out of alignment because we’re not able to see them so clearly, short of getting yourself a coach (which I can HIGHLY recommend), let me share with you one of my favourite self coaching tools – the power of an open ended question. Whenever I’m having these moments of questioning and frustration that’s when I sit down with my journal and get very honest with myself. I begin to explore my thoughts on whatever the topic of my frustration is and I get very confronting with myself about what I’m believing, what I’m telling myself and then I ask the big one: “Am I really doing EVERYTHING I can or can I do more, can I do something different?”. Inevitably the answer is no, I’m not doing EVERYTHING I can and, yes I can do more. By asking myself the right question, my unconscious mind goes searching for the answers I need.

For example, just this week I was wondering why my phone wasn’t running hot with new business and I started getting down on myself, I started pushing blame outward until I woke up to my pointless behaviour and decided to look for a solution instead. I picked up my journal and simply wrote this question: “What more can I do, specifically, to generate new business?” and the pen started flowing. I made a list of six things I knew I should be doing but hadn’t for some time, I’d simply gotten sidetracked, they’d dropped off my radar. They were simple things that I put back into my schedule immediately. I guess it’s a little bit of a self-generated wake up call. I think these are the best kind because if you don’t do it... believe me the Universe will find a way to do it for you and usually it’s not as gentle as you are on yourself. Step up and live consciously.

New Beginnings

2008-01-10T21:36:00.001+09:00

Greetings fabulous women!

Well a new year inevitably brings the excitement of new beginnings, and here at Glow we're no exception. Our very own Life Coach extraordinaire, Sabrina Holmes, is preparing to welcome the birth of her first baby (still affectionately known as 'Peanut') to the world, which is very exciting.

The joy of new babies is that they come into the world with no pre-conceptions about how things 'should' or 'shouldn't' be. They have no judgments, no concerns, no worries and, as they grow into walking, talking children, they develop a boundless curiosity about all that is possible.

Children approach life with a beautiful and pure sense of 'anything is possible' because they haven't yet learned that it isn't. That's a clue for the rest of us, because how many things have we 'learned' that have created imaginary boundaries for us that ultimately restrict our growth? "Oh no, I can't do that, it would be socially irresponsible", or "No, that's not possible because I don't have the (time, money, skills...)".

With the new year upon us, take a few minutes to establish what imaginary boundaries you've placed upon yourself that are undoubtedly restricting your growth, and not allowing you to be the person you are aching inside to be.

This month we encourage you to approach your life with childlike curiosity and enthusiasm... try looking at your situations through the eyes of a child. Have no boundaries, question everything, and don't always assume that you know something is wrong or right for you.

Tis the season to be jolly...

2007-12-26T02:51:00.000+09:00

This is just a quick note to say a very...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

As an Australian, I've always had Christmas in the intense heat of Summer, so this year, while living in the USA, I begged my husband to take me somewhere cold so we could have a white Christmas.

So today's blog entry is coming to you from Montreal, Canada, where it's freezing cold, and fabulously white!

Wherever you're enjoying this festive day, I hope you're with people you love, and enjoying every moment of it.

Ho ho ho

Katrina xoxox

Self Esteem for Women - Don't Settle for Mr 'Not Bad'

2007-12-12T02:31:00.000+09:00

For any woman who’s ever been out there, navigating her way through the dating game (yep – that’s most of us!), it can be challenging to decipher what’s really ‘right’ and what’s not.

For a start, in the first months of any relationship, you’re both so caught up in the ‘honeymoon’ period that you are often simply blind to any flaws the relationship, or the person you’re dating, may have. Generally, over time, as the romantic haze settles into something more real, both partners will probably start to notice the more negative side of the mate they previously thought was so perfect. In a healthy relationship, these human flaws are recognized and accepted for what they are, or if they are unacceptable to either party, they may choose to part ways.

Unfortunately I’ve seen too many women who reach a point where they are so keen to settle into the domestic bliss of a relationship, that they start lowering their standards and finding ways to justify these sub-standards to themselves. “I was being too picky anyway”, “I’m not perfect either” or “I have to be more open to people’s faults”. Whilst these statements may also be true, if they are used as a means to settle for less, or justify decisions you know deep down aren’t right, then they are only causing harm, not good.

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to justify ANY decision you really want to make? For instance, you know you shouldn’t buy that gorgeous dress that costs about a month’s rent, yet you’ve fallen so much in love and you simply “have to have it”. You start telling yourself that you really don’t have any other good red glittery dresses, and that it really is an essential part of your wardrobe (I mean, what wardrobe is complete without one?!!). You tell yourself that you’ve had a really bad week, so you deserve this dress… You’re a good person, why shouldn’t you treat yourself?! Before you know it your credit card is being swiped through a machine and that dress is in a bag, walking out the door.

We’ve all come home with an impulsive item or two in our time, but a dress is one thing… doing the same with a relationship could cost you years of your life that could otherwise have been spent blissfully happy, with someone who still makes you weak at the knees, year after year.

As tempting as it can be sometimes to convince yourself that the guy you’re dating with the lousy attitude, bad temper and belching problem can be your Mr Right, don’t settle… be happy with you first, on your own and the real Mr Right won’t help but be drawn to your strong sense of self worth and independence.

The Spiral of Life

2007-12-09T01:56:00.000+09:00

It is broadly accepted that we, as human beings, can consolidate most of our experiences in life to three areas of priority: relationships, finance/career and health. Too often we’re told to find ‘balance’ between the three, but it just doesn’t work that way. Usually when one of these areas is going great guns, another area is lagging a little. This is perfectly normal and healthy and part of life’s perfect cycle. At different times during our life we focus on one of these three areas more than the other two. The trick is to not tip the scales so far that you do damage to one area while you’re madly improving the other e.g. throwing everything you have into work and leaving your loved ones wondering what you look like, or bending over backward for everyone in your life to the detriment of your health (yes moms this one is aimed at you).

Life is like an upward spiralling coil, the idea is to continue improving each area of our life so that the ‘bad’ times of each new phase are still better than the ‘good times’ of the phase before. Sometimes we drive forward madly and then it’s time for quietness, integration and just ‘being’. Learn to understand this process and work with it and you’ll begin to be much kinder to yourself. Which area are you focusing on right now and are you happy with how you’re maintaining the other two?

By Sabrina Holmes

The Power of a Good Pair of Shoes

2007-11-30T02:51:00.000+09:00

You’re having the day from hell… your kids are sick, your husband is away, work is busier than ever, you just found out your mother-in-law is coming to town and you were on hold with the telephone company for 45 minutes before they accidentally cut you off. Sound familiar?

Any fashion loving woman knows that good old retail therapy can cure the most miserable of days, but shopping for clothing has its limitations… what if you’re having a ‘fat day’? You know the one… no-one else can see a shred of difference, because to the naked eye you look exactly the same as every other day, but you feel like you must have somehow gained 20 pounds overnight. (Of course, this could just as easily be followed by a ‘skinny day’ where you’re wondering why no-one else can tell how much weight you must have dropped since yesterday, but that’s another story…)

There’s really only one cure for these days, and that’s a fantastic pair of shoes! Whether you’re keen to shop for a new pair, or to bring out the favorites from your wardrobe, a good pair of shoes can do wonders for lifting the spirit. They can add pizzazz to the most basic of outfits, and have you walking down the street like you’re on a catwalk.

If you don’t already own a pair of shoes like this, give yourself a special gift and go shopping for them. They’re not your average, comfortable, practical, go-with-anything shoes. These are the pair that you might look at longingly in the window, but decide that they’re a little too wild for you or that you don’t have anything to wear with them. That’s the magic pair you need to own!

When I need a pick me up, I wear a basic black dress, and throw on my 4” red patent leather pumps, because they always make me feel like a million dollars, regardless of how my body may be feeling. The best part is, because I’m radiating so much positivity and self esteem, people ALWAYS notice. I get compliments all the time when I’m wearing these beautiful shoes, and whilst they are definitely fabulous, I believe its moreso because I’m walking with such confidence. If I was walking down the street with my head down and my shoulders forward, I’m certain they wouldn’t have this effect.

So next time you’re having one of ‘those’ days, get out your favorite pair of shoes, and strut down the street with your hips swinging and your head held high… I guarantee you won’t be able to help but to feel great!

Happy Thanksgiving

2007-11-23T03:22:00.000+09:00

Just a quick note today to say a huge

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

As an Australian woman living in the USA, this is my first ever Thanksgiving, and I'm really honoured to be part of such a warm tradition. Another time honoured tradition I will be partaking of today is to eat turkey, pumpkin pie and generally far too much food. Then we are following that up with tickets to the ice hockey - also a new adventure!

Most importantly today however, I would like to do what thanksgiving is really all about... giving thanks. This is a day to express gratitude for all of life's blessings, so here goes:

I am so very grateful for...

- The most amazing husband in the world
- A warm, wonderful, loving family
- The opportunity to live abroad in a fabulous country
- A strong, healthy body
- The freedom to follow my heart's desires
- The trees, birds and squirrels I am fortunate enough to see outside my window every day
- Enough wealth (not just money) to allow me so many choices in life
- The opportunities to travel all over this amazing country and the rest of the world
- Great friends to share adventures, happy days, sad days and a good bottle of wine with
- So much love in my heart that sometimes I just want to explode with excitement

And so many more blessings I experience in every moment that I can't even begin to list.

May we always take the time to look at what we do have, not at what we don't.

So... What are you grateful for?

Create a beautiful day

Katrina xo

Where Are Your Thoughts Taking You?

2007-11-21T10:13:00.001+09:00

Have you ever counted how many times in a day the words “I don’t want” or “I can’t” come out of your well glossed lips?

Most people can tell you very quickly what’s wrong with their workplace, what they want to change on their body and what they don’t want in a partner… very few can tell you what they DO want.

This is a simple habit you can begin today and don’t be surprised at the changes you experience almost immediately (I don’t want to suggest that you can consciously create your dream life like this). Become the silent observer of your language both internally (in your own mind) and externally (speaking to others) and whenever you notice yourself expressing what you don’t want, change your language. Ask yourself… what do I want instead? Be descriptive, be specific and use positive words.

If I say to you “don’t think about the way you’re sitting right now”… what do you think about? But I told you NOT to think about it!!! The mind does not recognize negatives, it only processes the words with visuals attached and… what the mind can conceive, you can achieve. Each time you think about what you don’t want, you’re attracting exactly that. So… dream big, there are no limitations except those we place on ourselves. What do you want to be, do and have?

Self Esteem for Women

2007-11-18T06:22:00.000+09:00

“Would you consider yourself someone with high self esteem, or low self esteem?” The natural reaction when asked a question like this may well be “high self esteem of course!”, but the truth may paint a very different picture.

Self esteem for women, especially, seems to be generally lower than it should be, and unfortunately far too often accompanied by poor body image. Why then are so many women subject to this deprecating state of mind? Perhaps it comes back to the natural laws of femininity. You see, a woman in her natural, feminine state has an in-built desire to radiate beauty. It’s the very reason that we women wear make-up, shave our legs, wax our eyebrows, love to shop, etc.

If that desire for beauty extended to finding that which we already have, it would be an absolute blessing. Unfortunately however, the unhealthy side of that desire for beauty, is in seeking it externally and creating unhealthy comparisons to others.

This damaging act of comparison is concerning enough in its own right, but consider who we are really comparing ourselves against. Whether consciously or not, we are most certainly using the media images that we’re constantly bombarded with as a benchmark for what is the ‘right’ size, body shape or look.

The problem with that is this; the women in the media - actresses, singers, models, etc – are in front of the camera for a living! Their livelihood revolves around how good they look with their faces and bodies featured up close and personal on giant screens around the world. I’m certain just about anyone in the same position would make it an absolute priority to ensure there isn’t a scrap of fat to be seen, or a single hair out of place. They have the money, the resources and, most importantly, extreme motivation to ensure that this standard is always maintained – and all too often at the cost of their health.

The other problem with using the media as a benchmark can be found in the simple act of picking up a magazine. It only takes a quick flip through the pages of any women’s fashion magazine to make even a woman with great self esteem feel like a fat pig! Between the scarily thin catwalk models, and the lighting, make up, good photography, and of course airbrushing and photoshop techniques, the end result is that we find ourselves envying a picture of a woman who isn’t even real.

In fact, for a wonderful example of what’s involved in creating the finished look of a model in a print advertisement, I highly encourage you to watch the video that Dove put together as part of their Campaign for Real Beauty.

Naturally none of this is to say that we shouldn’t care about our appearance, or enjoy making ourselves look and feel beautiful, but simply that if we must peg ourselves against a benchmark, perhaps we should consider someone more realistic.

It’s so important to keep ourselves healthy from the inside out, and that includes our mind… Don’t let these unrealistic images of beauty fool you into thinking you’re not good enough the way you are.

My tip for this is to make a list of everything you like about yourself from the inside out. In fact, one exercise I did was to go through my body parts one by one and write down why I loved them. I can assure you that when I got to my thighs, I found it a little challenging, but I managed to come up with how much I love that they are strong and carry me wherever I want to go!

Don’t let the negative thoughts creep in, they are like a cancer for your mind… find reasons to love everything about who you are, in all your fabulous individuality!

Personal Power - The Greatest Love of All?

2007-11-17T03:12:00.000+09:00

This is an article written by my life coach sister, Sabrina Holmes

As I’m sitting down to write this article Whitney Houston is crooning about “The Greatest Love of All” (I want to say it’s the radio but sadly, I’m playing her Greatest Hits CD... I’m a sucker for a feel good song) and it’s triggered some thoughts for me. Whitney is specifically referring to the love we have for ourselves as the greatest love of all, but what does that mean exactly? We’ve all heard the old adage “you can’t really love others until you love yourself” and yet most of us struggle, in real life terms, with being comfortable saying (out loud) “I love me!”

In The Secret Bob Proctor portrays the idea of loving yourself by enthusiastically kissing his own hand! What does it feel like to be THAT sure of who you are? I can tell you right now... it feels fabulous! It’s been a crazy journey to get to where I am today but I can honestly tell you that I love who I am, I’m proud of the woman I’ve become and I’ve earned this feeling. It came through blood sweat and MANY tears. But it is SO worth it. I wouldn’t change one single part of that journey. I am truly alive everyday of my life.

Katrina (Wilton – Co-Founder of Glow Health & Wellness) and I attended a Leadership workshop in 2002 where we took part in an exercise about discovering your ‘personal power’, it was challenging and frightening and it went something like this... One by one we took turns at standing up in front of the entire group and we had to yell as loudly and strongly as possible a phrase starting with ‘I am’. It had to be something relevant for us and we had to stick with that word and keep yelling until such time as the group unanimously clapped us to sit down. If even one of them wasn’t convinced then we had to keep going. How did they measure they’re conviction? Goosebumps. Yep that’s right... goosebumps. When you come from your true place of personal power, you can really feel it and, so can those around you.

Why do I tell you this story? To invite you to step up to your own personal power. Too often I see people living luke warm lives and believing that’s all there is to it. They stop expecting things to be different because they don’t know HOW to change them. We don’t always have the answers, we don’t always know the ‘how’ (honestly, we RARELY know the answers), but that’s the joy of life! Go out there and find the answers. Don’t do your best – DO WHATEVER IT TAKES. Being happy is worth it.

TV or Not TV? - That is the Question

2007-11-16T01:02:00.000+09:00

With all the modern technologies we have today, life has never been busier. In the 21st Century, we take on so much more, and are expected to achieve so much more with our day. Women especially are kept increasingly busy with a wide variety of tasks that can range from looking after the kids, climbing the corporate ladder, running a home based business, keeping fit and healthy, and the other million things we women know that we do.

So the question then is; how are you spending your quality time? If you really want to learn and grow, and live the life of your dreams, you need to devote some time and energy to focusing on what it is that you want, and cherishing your time with you. Sometimes that sounds impossible, but if it's important enough to you, you need to make the time for it. Here is one tip to regaining some lost time

Turn off the television! Nothing will sap your precious time more than this horrible box. In fact, here are some scary statistics for you:

- The average home now has more television sets than people, at 2.73 TV sets in the typical home and only 2.55 people
- The average person watches four hours, 35 minutes of television each day.
- In the average home, a television set is turned on for more than a third of the day — eight hours, 14 minutes (if you consider 8 hours sleep, and 8 hours work, this statistic is even more disturbing!)

This doesn't even count the hours spent on the computer, or surfing the internet!

So instead of turning the TV on, like so many people do on auto pilot, set some time aside for you. Write in your journal, call the friend you've been meaning to but haven't had the time, listen to your favourite album, look through some photo albums, give yourself a candlelit bath, create a vision board, meditate on your goals. Whatever it is, take some quality time for you... you deserve it!

Us & Them - Why You Should Always Dare to Dream

2007-11-14T00:58:00.000+09:00

I remember as a child looking at the big houses and shiny, new cars in the street thinking “Wow! Those people are so lucky!”. As I grew up, I observed how much it seemed so normal to separate “us” – the middle class, from “them” – the wealthy. It never really occurred to me as a teenager to question this, but as an adult chasing my big, grandiose dreams, I have found myself eternally perplexed by the self separation that seems to happen amongst humans.

Why do so many people seem to ‘wish’ for the abundance of wealth that life offers, yet never truly believe that it’s in any way possible for them? My question is… Why not? The only way that wealth is ever going to happen is to first believe it is possible. The crazy thing is, it is SO MUCH MORE POSSIBLE than most people ever really know!!

I came from a middle class family, and we often (I mean really often!) struggled with money, but we always kept the dream alive. My father always had an entrepreneurial spirit and started many new business ventures, even though, unfortunately, the financial jackpot always eluded us. We had a better kind of wealth though – love and encouragement. You see, our parents always encouraged my sister and I with strong words like “You can be anything you want to be, if you want it bad enough”.

So now, at 31, I own a multi-million dollar property portfolio, I quit my job several years ago for a life of freedom, I’ve married the man of my dreams, I live abroad and I frequently travel the world. So what’s the difference between me and the other middle class people who didn’t realize their dreams? Only a belief that it was possible.

For instance, I would walk into a store and try on the most expensive pair of shoes I could find, even though I knew I didn’t have the money to buy them. I wanted to be comfortable with that kind of wealth, and I was also very aware of keeping my language, internal and external, positive and aligned with my dreams. Instead of looking at the shoes and immediately saying “I can’t afford those!”, I would say “I choose not to buy them, today”. Being wealthy starts with feeling wealthy. Consider all the people who didn’t feel wealthy and won the lottery… most of them squandered it all away, because even though they really wanted it, they never really felt worthy of having it.

So take the time to reflect on what you’re thinking, feeling and saying (both to yourself and out loud), and decide if it’s aligned with your goals and dreams. If not, consider finding a new approach… and be sure remove the phrase “I can’t afford it” from your vocabulary!

As for me, I’ve still got a long way to go, and I never want to stop growing and striving for more, (does that journey ever stop?), but these days I can see a $40 Million dollar mansion, or 180 ft Super yacht and comfortably say “that’s for me”, and know for sure that it is.

On a Day Like This...

2007-11-08T01:31:00.001+09:00

Have you ever wondered why sometimes everything in your life just flows beautifully, and sometimes, no matter what you do, nothing seems to fall into place? It can seem as if there's absolutley no rhyme or reason to it, but you have to trust that at some level, there is something happening for your greater good that will reveal itself to you in good time. The time spent waiting, whilst it can be SO frustrating, is when we are tested on our ability to have faith. Deep down we know that eventually things turn out well, as life always does, but in the moment when life throws us our greatest challenges, is when that faith is really tested.

So if your life at the moment is flowing beautifully, be so grateful for every moment of it. If, however, you're having some challenges and frustrations, just remember that one day you will be looking back at this time thinking "if I only knew what wonderful suprises were waiting for me, just around the corner, I would have relaxed more".

So, what's the lesson in all this? Never take a single wonderful moment for granted, and in times of trouble remember that "this too shall pass". Life is cyclical and nothing, good or bad, is forever.

Enjoy each magical moment of this week.

My Personal Story - an Introduction

2007-11-08T00:23:00.000+09:00

How many times have you looked in the mirror and seen something you don’t like? It happens to the best of us, we get caught up in what we ‘should’ look like. Thighs are too big, hair is too straight, too many freckles, breasts are too small… the list could go on, and for many of us it does. The question is, are you loving who you are and keen to further improve yourself, or are you getting caught in the old “I’ll be happy when…”? “I’ll be happy when I weigh only X kg”, “I’ll be happy when I get a boob job”, I’ll be happy when I have this or that done”.

The truth is that happiness isn’t a place, person, operation, destination or weight goal. Happiness is a feeling, and it’s entirely within our control as to if, and when, we feel it or not. The challenge many of us face is that we’re always searching for something externally to make us feel good rather than finding it within.

I know this, because I spent most of my life not liking what I saw in the mirror. I was Bulimic for 8 years and ALWAYS thought I was too fat. It wasn’t until I was looking back in hindsight, that I realised my problems never had anything to do with my weight. I’m 5’2” and at my very heaviest I was only 55kg (121lb), but I thought I was a huge, hideous monster. I was never happy unless I was down to 48kg (106lb), which – funnily enough – only seemed to happen when I was even more depressed, or on the ‘break up diet’ when I’d split with a partner. Most of the time I was never more than about 50kg (110lb) yet I absolutely believed that I would only be happy when these last 2kg (4.4lb) had dropped.

2kg? How could 2 measly kilograms really dictate whether or not I was happy? From the outside in, it was easy to see that I had a problem unrelated to my weight, but as the person experiencing this, it was all I could think about. In fact ‘think’ is too mild a word. I was obsessed. I would starve myself for days, only to binge on huge amounts of food which I would then purge, several times a day. This was a destructive, cyclic pattern and it was ruining my life, my relationships and my health. Even now, years later, my digestive system doesn’t function properly and I have irrepairable damage to my teeth from all the purging.

I tried everything I could think of to make the changes I knew I needed. I went to counselors, support groups, psychiatrists, nutritionists, everything… you name it, I tried it. What I hadn’t tried at that point, is to truly understand that I needed to fall in love with me, just the way I was. When I was 26, I started working one on one with Nina, a very intuitive life coach who helped me search inside myself to find the answers I was looking for.

There were many months of tears, frustration and soul searching… but eventually there was peace. I was able to understand why I was using food as an emotional crutch and what the real cause of my behaviour was. You see, the eating disorder was simply a vehicle for dealing with the real issues, and once I knew what they were, I was able to address them directly.

Today I am happy, healthy and loving who I am. I’m still human, I still have bad days, and I still have an ‘ideal weight’ that I’d like to get to… but it doesn’t dictate my life and I love myself regardless… squishy bits and all.

Welcome!

2007-10-30T05:39:00.001+09:00

Welcome to my brand new blog! I'm still very new at this, but stay tuned while I figure it all out start posting soon.

Cheers

Katrina

Self Esteem for Women Personal Power