Life of the Party

Here's an article with a fun edge about being the life of the party that I thought I'd share with you all this week... enjoy

“Being the Life of the Party and How to Become More Likeable”

Being the life of the party is not about behaving like Leona Hellmsley, who thought that she was the life and soul of every party, but ended at Sing Sing having a party in solitary.

Self-esteem is not the in-your-face kind but it is quietly the confident way in which you stride into a room and the way you address others. You are so confident about yourself that you do not need to impose your views on others and they will be drinking in what you have to say.

There is this “socializing coach” from Bernardston, Massachusetts who says that being the life of the party is not about hogging the spotlight but about “engaging others.” This gentleman goes on to say that being the life of the party can be a lonely life “because you have to be willing to do extreme stunts to create memorable moments revelers will recant to their children and their children’s children.” You remember Coco the clown or the old Charlie Chaplin movies; you still recall their antics to your children and your grandchildren. That is the way you will go down in history! I rest my case.

Let’s get down to the brass-tacks. These are some of things which you should not do ever.

• Do not go dressed like Batman or Catwoman. Wear well-tailored clothes that fit you like a second skin and you are hardly conscious of wearing them.
• Do not walk into the room blowing a didgeridoo. You will look like the most priceless ass.
• Do not walk up to people and look them in the eye unless you want a poke in the eye.
• Do not circulate, making compliments to every guest. You will be spotted for a phony right away.
• Do not talk about the current situation of health care or about Iraq to show off your knowledge. It’s passé.
• Do not flirt outrageously. Flirting is an art and unless you are good at it, lay off.
• Do not talk about your investments or your adventures on the NYSE.
• Do not attempt to introduce people to one another. One small mistake of introducing a woman to her husband could end up with an egg on your face.

This is what you do to be the life of the party.

• Be confident about yourself. Remember the Talmud injunction? It says that no one can make you feel small unless you allow them to do so.
• Cast that 1000 watt smile of yours and it should come well from within you. People can spot a false smile a mile away.
• The key is lies in being interested and be interesting. This is what Katherine Hepburn once told Christopher Reeves,” Be interesting, Christopher.”
• Finally like the poet Browning once said, “Best be yourself” and you will be far more interesting that way. Simple isn’t it?

Traits Super-Confident People Have and How You Can Acquire Them

"The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others."
- Dr Sonya Friedman

Yoda, the character from Star Wars, whose reptilian smugness we have been encouraged to mistake for wisdom, is one character who oozes self-confidence and is no great shakes in the looks department. But, Yoda’s self confidence comes through his self esteem, that he is far superior to the earthlings.

Who doesn’t know Katherine Hepburn? She had oodles of self confidence. Or you name, Lauren Bacall…this lady too had it. You know, Katherine Hepburn was not an extraordinary woman to look at. But by jove, she had It. She would walk into a room and every man there would make a beeline towards her. Whether you count on Jeff Bezos, or Richard Branson…they were all just ordinary like me and you, but made the difference through their level of super confidence.

Take my word for it…Self confidence comes from self-esteem. If you think badly about yourself, it is going to come true in the way you carry yourself, the way you talk, the way you dress and the way you react to others around you. A Dior or a Versace will do nothing for you unless you are self-confident and are able to carry it off by forgetting that you are wearing them.
What is so special about super-confident people?

Believe in Yourself
Believe in your own abilities, your own strengths and weaknesses, and never be burdened by doubts.

Do Not Force Your Idea
Never force your idea or views on others for you must be so sure that others will give you a fair hearing and cone around to your way of thinking.

Take Your Stand Yourself
Do not ever seek the approval of others or sit there like a Lab, with a dumb chum look, tail-a wagging, or waiting for a doggy treat.

Don’t Be Egoistic
Do not behave like Ted Turner at all! The bloke is alleged to have said, “If I only had a little humility, I’d be perfect.”

Never Demand, but Earn Respect
A person with self-confidence does not demand his or her rights; but expect them as a matter of course. Why? Have you not seen at one of those swanky restaurants, the maître, the sommelier and the steward literally at the beck and call of a particular diner? It isn’t money talking but the bearing, the total self-esteem and Oomph (if the diner is a woman).

Smile Puts You Ahead of All
Have the hint of a smile that touches your eyes. Do not smile like Count Vlad of Drakul salivating over his midnight snack, nor do you smile like Larry Ellison. Now you get the picture, don’t you?

Never Boast of Yourself
Don’t blow your own trumpet for no one is interested in it. Lion never proclaims itself as a King of the Jungle, yet everyone knows it.

Feel Good about Yourself… But Being Self-Conscious Never Works
Be confident of the way you look. Self esteem comes from being very comfortable of the way you are as long as you are not like the guy who found himself so handsome that he took a self-portrait with a Polaroid every night before bed to preserve the moment.

Understand Your Purpose of Being
Remember, you are here for a purpose and it is up to you to discover what you mission is and start working towards achieving it.

You are Indeed Special!
Everyone is special in this world and you must be sure of your worth. That’s the secret of Super-Confident people. Brace yourself for you are indeed special!